I’m clearly back on my reading game because today’s post was sparked by Amie McNee’s audiobook, We Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around and Make Something. I listened on my drive to visit Dad yesterday, and a simple phrase resonated so deeply that I had to make a voice note right away. “Prolific, not perfect.” As soon as I heard those words, I knew this is what I am aiming for in my writing career. I’ll unpack this further.

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100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business. I’m sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. I’m using The Artist’s Way as a guiding tool, and sending shorter weekly recaps only via my newsletter. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

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Today, I posted on social media for the first time in three months. Here’s the caption, shared with several random photos I’ve taken over the last few months.

I made myself cringe.

8 months ago, I sold my business and began a journey of learning to rest and recover from burnout and unravel my identity from my role as a CEO and owner.

5 months ago, I launched my book on delegation – in a cringy flood of marketing texts, emails, and posts to promote Firing Yourself.

3 months ago, I felt deep disappointment and guilt for the way it made me feel to do that, and I had this realization that I never want to think of Instagram as a “marketing tool” again.

2 months ago, I began a 100-day self initiation and experiment I call 100 Liminal Days. It was intentionally designed to make me uncomfortable, to challenge me, and to help me discover my authentic taste.

To answer the question, “Who am I without work?”

Today is Day 49/100. I have published over 60,000 words on my blog at amberlgray.com since Labor Day.

In a public place, but not for anyone other than me. I have been vulnerable and honest. I’m showing myself that I matter. That what I have to say matters. That who I am without work is just as valuable as Amber the CEO.

Because I made myself cringe.

Cringe because I was out of line with my authentic self. Cringe because I tried to use online spaces in the ways the marketing gurus tell you to. Cringe because I didn’t really know what I wanted or how to get it.

Now, I hope that when I make myself cringe it’s because I am fully myself – courageous, vulnerable, and wildly generous.

I’m in a liminal space – a transition season. It’s hard to be in that space where things are no longer what they once were, but are not quite a new thing yet either.

If you feel like you are in that in-between space too, I invite you to see what’s unfolding in 100 Liminal Days.

Learn more and sign up for weekly recaps at amberlgray.com/100-liminal-days-newsletter

Sharing My Art

The reason I decided to share 100 Liminal Days on social media for the first time today – 49 days in – is because I am finally seeing my path forward illuminate. I’m beginning to form a cohesive description of what I want for my life, my work, my calling.

And so much of that path forward is about sharing my art with others. Art defined as my writing, painting, and qigong. My first book, Firing Yourself, and this blog are only small slivers of the vision I have for my writing art. Even after publishing tens of thousands of words, I still have so much more I’d like to write and share with the world. My ideas for writing projects seem to be endless.

And then I hear this phrase, “prolific, not perfect,” and I it suddenly clicks for me that I want proliferation, but I’ve been aiming for perfection. It’s no wonder I’ve felt off track.

Becoming the Empty Vessel

In the earlier days of this project, I wouldn’t dare let myself choose to pursue these things full-time, but now that I am not encumbered by my own fears and doubts, I can see in my mind’s eye an abundant life for myself that centers around these passions.

And when I say abundant this time, I do mean financially abundant as well as all of the other things that make a life abundant. Before, I believed that doubtful voice in my head that said there’s no way to make a living with art. I believed that choosing this as a vocation or career is just plain crazy. (See Day 1/100 for the explicit roots of these beliefs!)

But throughout this project, I have released my grip on these fear-based beliefs, and I have become an empty vessel for truth to fill.

And what God has poured into this thirsty place within me looks like a life immersed in artistic, creative, vulnerable expression of my truth, that is rewarded with reciprocity.

It is an unapologetic acceptance, and even welcoming of, another truth that what I create will not be received by all, but it will resonate with some, and it will change someone’s life. (If not only my own!)

Art As a Rebellious, World-Changing Act

For the first time in my life, I hope I ruffle some feathers. I hope what I create makes others uncomfortable with simply doing what they think they should be doing. I hope what I create sparks rebellious acts and more freedom to express ourselves vulnerably without shame or fear of rejection and pain. I hope what I create is a powerful ripple in the pond of our collective experience as a civilization.

Why Proliferation Over Perfection

I want to be prolific, not perfect because proliferation admits that mistakes and misperceptions are just part of the journey. It embraces the truth that who I was in the past, who I am today, and who I will be in the future are safe to be completely different things. (And I always hope they are different because I am growing and changing!)

Proliferation is possible when we aren’t afraid to change our mind, our stance, or our beliefs. Perfection hinges everything on one big, right thing, while proliferation allows me to stay curious and experiment with any little thing I find interesting.

Proliferation also means committing to my artistic craft every day. Perfection draws us into the minutia like tunnel vision blurring out everything in the peripheral view. It blinds us to the world around us. Proliferation requires me to stay curious and expand my awareness more and more.

So, today I commit to proliferation, not perfection. I take a small bite each day. I take baby steps. I widen my view to take in the beauty from all of the lost corners of life. I let go of this idea that I must create something that pleases others and fits neatly into my day after a hard day’s work in the capitalistic system. I know it won’t be an easy quest, but I choose to go against the grain – all while accepting that it is okay to mess up without giving up.

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Weekly recaps of 100 Liminal Days are emailed on Tuesdays only to my newsletter subscribers. If you want the summaries, share your email here to get on the list. You’ll also instantly receive a free Notion template I use every single day to track my habits and reflect on the day.