Today, I’m thinking about this whole process of self-initiation and the big picture of what I’m embarking on with this 100-day experiment, and I want to share more behind the “why” of this project. I’ll start by sharing about what has influenced and inspired my decision to initiate myself.

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100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business by sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. I’m sending shorter weekly recaps only via my newsletter. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up in the footer of this page to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

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Joining The Dharma Artist Collective

In July 2024, I joined an online community called The Dharma Artist Collective, or The DAC, founded by Erick Godsey and his good friend and business partner, Graham Dern. I joined the first month it launched, and initially jumped in because I was craving connection with other disciplined, spiritually-minded people who are pursuing their life’s greatest work as artists – music, painting, writing, building community, breathwork, podcasting, business building, and more.

These are not just artists dabbling in their craft room for a few hours on the weekend. They are serious artists who have dedicated much of their lives to mastery of their skills as artists, and they are wielding their art with deep intention to usher humanity into the next cultural renaissance.

Currently with 250 members, there is an endless flow of inspiration in the public feed, and several times per day every day, the most active members log onto Zoom for 3-hour dharma sprints – focused blocks of time to work on their purposeful art and to be witnessed and held accountable by others from all over the world.

It’s quite simple – we set an intention by typing into the Zoom chat what we will work on. The leader sets a timer for three hours, and we get to work. Cameras on, audio off, we focus and do the damn thing. When the timer goes off, the leader asks a few people to share about their experience.

This sounds so basic, but imagine this. You sit down to do your most important work of the day. Maybe you start out focused, but then you feel an urge to check your email and your text messages. Maybe Slack is pinging, and you are looking for that dopamine hit somewhere. You end up clicking a link to that reel your coworker shared in the #water-cooler channel and end up doom scrolling for 10 minutes. You realize you are off task, and switch back to Zoom.

This is where you see a full screen of video squares. A young guy with black messy hair and a beard, wearing wire glasses and big headphones is playing his electric guitar. You can’t hear it but you see the passion in his body language. Next to him is a woman in her 20s sitting in the grass under a giant oak tree, meditating. Next to her is another woman in her 50s, squinting her eyes and leaning into her laptop as she works diligently on something she’s building on the internet. Next to her is a a shirtless muscled-up 30-something wiping tears from his eyes as he’s journaling on the couch. Next to him is a woman practicing yoga while her young kid is playing nearby.

You remember why you are here. You see the others. The others can see you. And you get back on your game.

Each time this happens, your focus becomes stronger. Your productivity increases. You are creating more than you ever have in your life. And you are encouraged to share what you made for the first time in your life. Courageously. Vulnerably. Intentionally.

Investing in Myself: Mentally Fit

It was in this space that I received the opportunity to take a 9-week class called Mentally Fit. It’s not included in the DAC membership and it’s not cheap, so deciding to enroll was a big deal. After I watched the webinar Godsey shared as the invitation to join, I went for a long walk.

I wept as I walked, feeling afraid to talk to Emily about my desire to take this class. Aside from some income I receive quarterly from selling my business, I don’t have money coming in. And I left heavy with debt, so almost all of my income has gone toward paying off a loan and replenishing our savings. Before selling, I had gotten my business profitable in the last several months of my ownership, but before that, I racked up more than $100,000 in business debt, which became my debt when I decided to sell. Gosh, I feel a lot of shame about this. And I feel even more shame thinking about asking my wife what she thinks about me spending a couple thousand dollars on an online class.

I cry for a little longer (yes, y’all will learn through this that I cry a lot), and later that night I mentioned to Emily – over the phone – since she was working in New York at the time. I tell her that I feel called to take this class but I feel awful about spending the money when I no longer have a job. (Although I don’t have to “ask” for money, we do not purchase big ticket items without discussing and agreeing first.)

Her reaction was immediate and without hesitation.

“If you feel called, you need to do it.”

And before the phone call was over, she had transferred all of the money needed into the spending account.

I was floored by her support. More tears, of course, too. I signed up for the class and felt so excited to do it. A new self-initiation began.

Nine weeks later, the class came to a close. I have developed new daily habits and honed existing ones. I learned a massive amount of information about psychological development and what stage I am actually in. (PS. Everyone thinks they are more of an adult than they actually are!)

I learned more about parts work (Internal Family Systems Therapy) which I had been introduced to last year by a beautiful human I worked with for six months in 2024. I’m sure I’ll share more about that in future posts.

I also learned how to interpret my dreams using Robert A. Johnson’s method.

And lastly, I learned how to courageously share my art with others and engage with the world in a way that takes what I do every day to the level of transformation for myself and others.

It was in this class that I lamented about not knowing what to do with myself now that I have the freedom to choose. Who am I? What is my flavor of art? Am I even an artist?

It was Anthony Manuele who chimed in on my DMs in the eighth week offering to chat with me if I wanted a sounding board of sorts. His coaching practice is thriving and he helps others launch their business dreams. It was for this reason and the fact that he is also a Christ-follower that I was excited for a chance to riff with him.

The Seed of 100 Liminal Days

We set up a call on a Sunday afternoon. The conversation was casual, but a coach is always coaching, right? And he kept asking me questions. He told me about a book that changed his life, and the Amazon fairy dropped it on my porch the next day.

He asked me if I had read the Artist’s Way and if I was doing Artist Dates. The “shit-eating grin” that appeared on his face signaled to me that this was the gold. He encouraged me to do some kind of self initiation to help me understand my own sense of taste – what do I actually like? I remember that Godsey had challenged me to experiment and see what it would be like to intentionally stop being productive.

It was this conversation with Anthony that birthed the project I kicked off the very next day on Labor Day – 100 Liminal Days. (Anthony, I love you and am so grateful for how you’ve shared your time, experience, and art with me to inspire this meaningful, life-changing project. Thank you.)

He didn’t tell me what I should do. He didn’t even tell me how he coaches his clients to start their businesses. In fact, we didn’t really talk about the business stuff even though I thought that’s where the call would go. Instead, he asked questions until I could see that what I really desire for this season is to know what I like and to allow my life’s greatest work to emerge, instead of going on an expedition to discover it and push it out.

Self-Initiation > Life’s Initiation

As we talked, I remembered something Godsey said in the class about how life will always initiate us into new levels of psychological development and growth. It’s usually not something we want to happen, and can even feel quite traumatic in most cases. We can let life initiate us, or we can initiate ourselves and avoid some of the pain and suffering along the way.

My notes only have a few quick spurts with bad grammar:

“Let yourself give yourself initiations.”

“[Dream work and parts work] is how you stay on the rails while going through the initiations.”

“Record-keeping is to keep you truthful w/ yourself.”

“WARRIOR-LIKE PRACTICE is needed to survive.”

“Get into flow state at least once per day. Flow state is the most biologically and psychologically replenishing state of consciousness. In flow state, you can’t ruminate.”

It is this that has spurred me to experiment with 100 Liminal Days. I choose to self-initiate. A self initiation process means I have more control of the process and can skip some of the hard knocks I’m used to learning through.

So, I’m committed to doing this. And hey – I might even learn the first time instead of having to repeat lessons over and over.

PS. I didn’t eat the cookie yesterday. 🙂

PSS. If you are interested in the Mentally Fit class, there is only one more class being offered and then Godsey is moving on to other endeavors. It kicks off October 7th. Message me if you want in.

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