Our somatic experiences can either support or detract from our emotional wellbeing and mental focus. So, today, I’ll share how I am managing physical pain and body tension, and how I’m working through the distraction of a ferocious poison ivy rash. Plus – a quick introduction to my practice of “eating death cookies.”

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100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business by sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. I’m sending shorter weekly recaps only via my newsletter. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up in the footer of this page to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

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Today was the day I scheduled my first Artist’s Date with myself. The plan was to take a quick trip to the art store and then spend a leisurely morning at the Blanton Museum of Art. Things didn’t go as planned. I made it to the art store, but did not make it to the museum. I really wanted to do this, but I wasn’t feeling well, and I had an important to-do I was tired of moving to another day. Here’s what happened and how I was gentle with myself today.

While working in the yard last Saturday, I apparently encountered poison ivy, and also got my neck and shoulder in a bind of some kind. As the week has gone on, my discomfort, pain, and itching from the rash have become more and more intense! I’m really uncomfortable, so planning to keep the post light. (My dream interpretation did tell me to be gentle with myself!)

The day started with struggled to lift my head from the pillow – literally. My neck was so tight that I had to support my head with my hands to raise myself out of bed. Once I got moving, things felt slightly better, but I’ve slogged through this day.

I didn’t realize I had been in contact with poison ivy at first, but I’ve had it once before and was able to recognize it coming on a few days ago…and now it is currently in a brutal stage. It’s mostly affecting my left arm which is also the same arm I have all of the tension in, but I also have the rash on my face, ear, stomach, and both legs in small patches. I. Am. Miserable.

Of course, I’m doing all of the typical things for poison ivy – not scratching, washing the rash, and applying anti-itch topical medications. But it hasn’t worked very well. Yesterday, I was itching so bad I could not focus.

Meditation As an Itch Remedy

The itch remedy that worked the best?

Meditation! Meditating has been a major contributor to my increased ability to get into a flow state on a daily basis, so I figured it could work to help take my mind off of the desire to scratch my skin. And it worked! It was almost immediate. As I focused on my breath and calmed my thoughts about being itchy, it slowly dissipated. After 19 minutes of meditation, I felt calm and focused again. (I am gradually increasing my meditation time, but I only add 1-2 minutes when I feel like I’m consistently able to focus on my breath, notice my thoughts, and come back to my breath without getting lost in the thoughts. I’ve been at 19 minutes for months now!)

When the itchiness gets too intense to do anything, I meditate and it brings me back to a calmer state and depending on what I am doing can last for a few hours. So if you ever encounter poison ivy, first, I’m so sorry. And secondly, try meditating through it.

Substance-Free Pain Management

The neck and shoulder tension has been more difficult to address. I don’t take medications like ibuprofen or Tylenol unless I get really desperate. I don’t drink alcohol except occasionally when I am on vacation or celebrating something big. (Like when I sold my business and we were in Japan for vacation, I gave myself permission to imbibe because the sake pairings with a special 8-course meal one night felt like the right way to break my two-year streak of zero booze!) I do like to use cannabis for recreation, relaxation and sleep, but I often take intentional breaks from using all substances particularly when I am in a self-initiation like this one. So that’s not been an option for me this week.

So what is one to do? I haven’t been able to get completely pain-free, but here are a few things that are working for me.

Yoga Stretches and Qigong

(Almost) every morning since May 2024, I have been practicing at least 12 minutes of qigong, an ancient Chinese practice combining gentle movements and breathwork. This practice has been life-changing for me. Primarily, I do this for nervous system regulation, but naturally as your nervous system feels supported, the rest of your body can function more optimally, too.

As part of shoulder physical therapy from a previous injury, I started adding in some planks, downward-facing dog poses, downward dog scorpion poses, child’s pose, and the cobra stretch before I begin my qigong practice each morning. I practice outside, barefoot in the grass – like a good hippie does 🙂

Chiropractic Care and Foam Rolling

I’ve been going to Dr. Michele Gerard at Chiropractic Arts Center of Austin weekly for the last three and half years, and I am a big believer in the benefits of chiropractic care. Depending on your starting condition, it can feel like a very a slow process, but my x-rays year after year are proof that my spine curve is improving incrementally. With a properly curved spine, my pain has improved tremendously over the years. I felt a lot better after my adjustment this week, but when things are flaring up, I usually need more than one visit. I’m looking forward to going back next week!

I also use what is called a Denneroll prescribed by my chiropractor. I sometimes pair my meditation with a 20-minute session laying on this foam device. You do have to start with shorter times and build up, but it brings immediate relief to headaches. It helped me feel better today, and I even fell asleep on it for a few minutes!

After my Denneroll session, I rolled out my back using a foam roller. That feels good and tends to alleviate pain, too.

Infrared Sauna

I have a membership at Restore Hyper Wellness where I was first introduced to using an infrared sauna. Unlike a regular sauna, it’s dry and much easier to use and care for. Late last year, we decided to buy one and create our own wellness room. Believe it or not, you can get a really nice 2-person infrared sauna on Overstock or Amazon for a couple thousand bucks. Worth it!

For me, sweating it out in a sauna for 20-30 minutes helps with minor pain and gives me an extra challenging quiet place to practice meditation 🙂

That said, with the poison ivy rash, I can’t get in the sauna. It would just make it even angrier! So I’ll have to save this remedy for another day.

Eating Death Cookies

Okay, so you are probably wondering what the heck I mean by eating death cookies. And I’m not talking about the cookies I mentioned earlier this week – I haven’t eaten those yet!

Here’s the quick explanation.

Psychoanalysts Phil Stutz and Barry Michels popularized the term “death cookies,” which in psychology, means anything that feels like a difficult or scary task that you have been avoiding. In the world of skiing, death cookies refers to a hard chunk of ice that can be dangerous and jarring to encounter. Stutz and Michels used this as a metaphor in psychological development.

Eating a death cookie is essentially doing the thing that scares you – an active choice to overcome the resistance and do the damn thing.

When you finally eat the death cookie, the outcome is more than just finally overcoming the resistance. There is some real power in eating a death cookie because it opens up a flow of life force again.

For example, let’s say you need to end a toxic relationship. You first notice you need to have that hard conversation, but you procrastinate doing it because it will cause you pain. You wait and wait, and the longer you wait to do it, the more life energy is drained from you. It actually takes more energy from you to put this off than it does to just get it done.

But when you finally do the thing, not only do you get your life force back, you get it back exponentially. You feel a weight off of you, but it’s actually more than that – now you have freed yourself for something more that will nurture your growth. The bigger the cookie, the more life-changing it can be!

This works with smaller things too. Like for me today. I have needed to go to the bank in person to change my name on an account for literally years. Since 2016 when I got divorced! And I didn’t see a big reason to do it, but every time I use my card and see my old married name, it bugs me. I think about it. Then I dismiss it. Then I do it again. But today, I decided it was time to eat that death cookie. Maybe it was only half of a cookie, but it still needed to be done. And doing it felt so good!

Try this for yourself some time. Perhaps you have a big death cookie that comes to mind as you read this. You don’t have to go straight for the biggest one unless you are feeling audacious. Instead, try it with a smaller thing you’ve been procrastinating due to resistance. Notice how you feel when you think about that thing not being done. Then do it, and notice how you feel afterward. And further, notice how you feel when you do this a few times and start regularly feeling that weight come off and the life force flowing freely.

Eating more death cookies gives you more life energy. Keep at it and you’ll realize you’ve changed your life.

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