I’m back, friends! It’s been two and a half weeks since my last blog post because I was traveling around Europe, and now I’m excited to be back on the blog for an abbreviated Week Three in The Artist’s Way. This week’s chapter is all about recovering a sense of power, and it kicks off talking about how our anger is a map that shows us where our boundaries are and where we want to go. Let’s dig into it.

---

100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business by sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. I’m sending shorter weekly recaps only via my newsletter. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up in the footer of this page to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

---

Anger is Fuel

In the Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron starts Week Three: Recovering a Sense of Power with a statement that surprised me.

Anger is fuel.

Like many of us, I have been taught to suppress my anger, to ignore it, to hide it, to tame it. But the truth is that anger, like all emotions, has a beneficial purpose if we truly listen to it and acknowledge that all our feelings are messengers uniquely designed to guide us closer to our dharma, or life’s calling. Anger is a voice just like excitement, sadness, or gratitude – it just happens to be one of the more demanding voices in the lot.

Cameron says something else so profound.

Anger is a Map

Anger is a map. Anger shows us what our boundaries are. Anger shows us where we want to go. Anger is meant to be acted upon. It is not meant to be acted out. Anger points the direction. We are meant to use anger as fuel to take the actions we need to move where our anger points us. Anger is not the action itself. It is action’s invitation.

When I reflect on this, I immediately think of a current situation in my life. There’s something that has been frustrating me in one of my friendships, and it has been building up for a few months. And recently, when this particular person reaches out to me even in the most benign way, I am triggered into anger.

My tendency? To tell myself that I’m a nice person and I am not going to let it show. I won’t let this bother me. I tell myself that it will blow over. I tell myself that I shouldn’t be angry, and that one way to avoid that feeling is to just start placing distance in the relationship.

But if anger is fuel to take action and move in the right direction, my first tendency is not the best course of action. So, I’ve let myself feel the anger today. I’m listening to see what it has to say. I’m looking at it as a map and determining where my edges are in this situation.

I’ve also just finished reading a book I mentioned briefly in Day 11/100 when I realized I need to take a closer look at my relationship with money. In You Are a Badass at Making Money, the author talks about how our subconscious gets uncomfortable when we start changing who we are being. Change throws us into the unknown and puts us at risk of loss, but also at risk of bumping elbows with good things. But in this process, some of our inner parts get triggered.

I’m putting the pieces together and I can see that my anger is in part a result of me killing off my old fixer identity, and the message anger is bringing to me points me to eat a death cookie – to have an honest conversation with my friend about my frustrations. Suppressing the feeling has only made it scream louder.

As I attune myself to the anger inside, I am gently reminded that the person I am becoming is not someone who passive aggressively punishes people by withdrawing attention. The person I am becoming is willing to be vulnerable and honest, and to have hard conversations when necessary.

So today, I say ‘thank you’ to my anger and frustration for pointing me in the right direction. I acknowledge that my old identity as a fixer who loved to be a hero and solve problems for other people (even at the cost of my own needs and desires) feels afraid of being left without a job so it’s kicking and screaming. To that part of me, I say, don’t worry. I promise you will be able to serve others. And, there is a proper balance to being of service, too. We know that truth-telling is a form of kindness – first to ourselves, and then to others. So instead of hiding and suppressing my anger, I will use it as fuel to move me to act on it in truth-telling kindness.

Changing who I am inevitably puts some relationships in misalignment because my tolerance for certain types of negative behaviors in others is changing, too. It doesn’t mean that I’ve become holier than thou; it means that I recognize the importance of surrounding myself with the type of energy that supports me on my journey. I have to protect my thoughts because it’s a slippery slope. Or to give another analogy – negativity and complaints, like vines on a chain linked fence, quickly intertwine with the scaffolding of our inner world. The roots grow deeper, the vines wrap themselves around every word, thought, and belief, and before you know it, all you can see are the vines of negativity in every direction instead of our true authentic selves underneath.

Anger showed me where I am betraying my authentic self by prioritizing a pursuit to solve someone else’s problems over nurturing my own energy needs and surrounding myself with the kinds of people who are working toward similar goals and offering encouragement and occasional accurate, pointed criticism that offers support instead of shame. This anger isn’t meant to be acted out to the person I’m struggling with, it’s job has been to help me see where I am out of alignment with my own authentic path.

My response to this is making me uncomfortable because to get back on that path, I need to be the kind of friend who is willing to be real and talk through my frustrations in a kind way, not withdraw my love or attention. I know this is how I transmute my anger into action, and perhaps my willingness to do this offers some light and encouragement to my friend along the way.

---

Weekly recaps of 100 Liminal Days are emailed on Tuesdays only to my newsletter subscribers. If you want the summaries, share your email at the bottom of this page to get on the list.

You’ll also instantly receive a free Notion template I use every single day to track my habits and reflect on the day.