Today, I’m reflecting on three core beliefs I have shifted since starting this experiment and feeling gratitude for the liminal lessons. But first, a quick update on how this week is going.

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100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business by sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. I’m using The Artist’s Way as a guiding tool, and sending shorter weekly recaps only via my newsletter. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up in the footer of this page to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

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This week has flown by and I have felt a bit distracted and off my routines. It felt good to get immersed in the art project yesterday, but it’s digital art – lots of video editing – and I think I get a little wonky when I spend hours on computer projects like this.

Plus, I’ve found myself nitpicking it and wanting to rewrite and rerecord parts. It’s due next Friday, so I think I ought to just focus on finishing. After writing about wanting to be prolific, not perfect, I am going to keep doing my best and and move forward versus making U-turns. It will be what it will be!

Liminal Lessons

I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve crossed the halfway mark of 100 days, or simply because I slowed my pace on digging deep into soul matters a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve been reflecting on this project, this season, this intention and feel a bit in awe. I’m so thankful for all of the writing I’ve done through this so far because I can see myself changing – I’ve never experienced personal growth I was actually paying attention to in the moment.

But this is different.

My desperation in the beginning of this seems rooted in three core beliefs that I’ve since busted free from:

• That my dharma (purpose) is one single thing I need to discover within myself
• That I should maintain a professional, business-y, non-disruptive presence online
• And that money is a fair measurement of success

My Dharma is Multifaceted

Releasing this belief that my purpose needs to be discovered within the next big thing I call my vocation or job has been so freeing. I can see myself thriving by doing multiple things – several services to others as well as creating tangible art. I am beginning to see and get excited about creating a small qigong practice in the new year. I also see various ways I can monetize art I want to make.

The Internet Doesn’t Need Me

As much as it feels good to think that not being on social media means my few thousand followers must be missing me, it feels even better to realize that I don’t have to curate an online presence or even show up unless I want to be there. Posting from this mindset has allowed me to take care of myself, engage online with others when I want to occasionally, and get back to IRL when I need that.

Marketing is necessary for business growth, but social media isn’t necessarily part of every effective strategy.

Money is Not the Only Currency

This was a hard one to absorb, but seeing that my value can be acknowledged and reciprocated in ways outside of financial exchanges is helping me release the pressure of earning money in traditional ways. I admitted in Day 36/100 that I don’t have a high desire for financial goals, but as I’ve loosened my mental grip and accepted myself for wanting abundance in other forms, ironically, it’s helping me cultivate more desire for financial abundance as well.

The Liminal Space is A Gift

Breaking down these old beliefs has resulted in the most notable shifts and changes in how I feel and think, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned so far is that this liminal space is a massive gift from the Universe.

It’s like I sleepily entered into a room with bright lights on all sides blinding me from seeing the walls or the pathway in and out. It scared me, but I surrendered to it and sat in the floor. Then, when I began to wake up, I realized this room – this liminal space – was designed with a purpose. This space is meant to keep me safe while I’m incubating, undulating, and metamorphosing. This space is my cocoon.

Without tools like Internal Family Systems (IFS), dream interpretation, journaling, meditation, and qigong, I don’t think I could have made it to Day 55/100. Well, at least I wouldn’t feel very sane having been in a liminal space for “so long.” The reason I’ve been able to create meaningful change this time versus just lip service to myself is because I have these tools to help me tune into myself as an entire being. When things have gotten harder and heavier, I’ve leaned on all of these tools to guide me out of trouble.

I’ve expanded my toolset and skillset through a mix of conscious effort, spiritual connection, and calculated deeper dives into my subconscious.

The dream I had about diving into the water, hoping to make it to the bottom so I could press back up for some much needed air spoke volumes to me. It showed me how I will not ever reach the “bottom” of my subconscious mind. It’s too vast and I’m just a drop in the ocean anyway. There are treasures there that I can extract and bring to the surface to examine or share, but it’s okay to take it slowly.

Are we healing for all of our lives?

I don’t know if I believe that we are always healing more and more all of the time. I think we can reach a point where we are healed – period – and can move into other states.

Not just healing, growing.

Not just growing, thriving.

Not just thriving, spilling over with abundance.

I know I have more to learn all the time, and no doubt, something new will trigger a part of me again. But the big traumas of my life are receiving the gentle healing touches they have needed for me to move beyond healing.

Or perhaps I just feel safe here in my cocoon right now. The cocoon is giving me the space I need to reimagine – no, remember – who I am. So today, I’m thankful for the liminal days.

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