As I’m working through the course in The Artist’s Way and focused this week on recovering a sense of integrity, I’m beginning to find this process more challenging as I go on. Here’s how Week Four went for me.

---

100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business by sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. I’m sending shorter weekly recaps only via my newsletter. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up in the footer of this page to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

---

The Artist’s Way Week Four Check-In

How many days this week did you do your Daily Pages? How was the experience for you?

Although I did journal my Daily Pages every day this week, yesterday the process took me almost three hours (off and on) due to distractions and lethargy throughout the afternoon. I really didn’t want to do it, and I ended up missing writing my Liminal Days blog post. I debated with myself, which I feel is such a waste of energy – I had already lost the battle at the point when I allowed myself to see the commitment as negotiable. The negotiation that followed was just a painful way of dragging out the decision not to do the work.

Did you do your Artist Date this week? What did you do? How did it feel?

I’ve really been enjoying solo hikes as my Artist Date and have found a spot that has enough trail options to go back a couple more times and still see something new. I think it would be good for me to change up the type of Artist Dates I do, but hiking has been the best option to optimize my schedule. I can get my cardio workout in, do my morning practice in a new space, and get inspired by nature all at the same time. I’ve planned another hike for next week.

As I hike along the trail, I’m noticing that I usually share a small sweet moment with a stranger at some point. On one hike, I spotted two Red Shouldered Hawks circling overhead and stopped to look at them with my binoculars. Another man approached about that time, and I told him what I was looking at. We had a short chat about the birds and appreciated the chance to simply watch them and admire them. On another hike, I met three ladies that were probably in their 50s. One knew the trail really well and was telling her friends what to expect ahead. I thought it was cool that they were out adventuring together and enjoying each others’ company. We had a short interaction that was simple but made me smile and grateful for the other trail lovers out there.

On this week’s Artist Date, there was a deep hole in the center of this little river. A sign nearby called it “Story Hole” and explained that the hole was erosion caused by a 30-foot waterfall that had been there many years ago. This was the spot I chose to practice qigong. There was a quiet trickle of water still flowing and I was able to stand right in the spot where the waterfall had previously been. It felt meaningful to connect with myself and nature in this particular spot.

I also prayed as I hiked, and what was coming up in my soul this week was this deep sense of connectedness to the rest of humanity and to nature. I will likely write more about this soon, but there’s something stirring in me regarding my role in caring for the planet. There is a seed of a belief growing in me – an idea that perhaps the Earth is like an organism and we are all its cells. Whether we care for our planet, ourselves, or our neighbors, we are contributing to the nourishment of the whole. There’s more to explore on this topic, so I’ll keep praying and meditating on this concept of oneness to see what else bubbles up in me.

Did you experience any synchronicity this week? What was it?

I didn’t notice any synchronicities and I have felt a bit “off” this week. As noted earlier about my procrastination of writing my pages and blog post yesterday, it’s taking a bit more effort to stay the course. Maybe that’s because I took time off for the vacation, or maybe it’s just because I’m about a quarter of the way through this experiment and things are just starting to heat up! Either way, I’ve felt a bit disconnected from the project, approaching it a bit like a chore on the list of other things I need to do. Even so, I’m trusting the process and will start fresh again tomorrow with a new week. New things are always in store! Plus, I’m super excited about starting my qigong teacher training in one week, and kicking off a wealth mastermind with a couple of friends on Thursday. Things have felt like a bit of a grind this last week, but I’ll keep going.

Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant for your recovery? Describe them.

One day this last week, I decided to work on my post in a solo dharma sprint from a coffee shop near my house. I took my dog with me, and he’s so cute that strangers always want to talk to him. I ended up talking to this older guy for about an hour. He was nice and there were parts of the conversation I was really interested in, but truthfully, I was feeling annoyed that I was talking to him instead of working on my writing. I ended up having to go home to restart because I couldn’t seem to break away from him.

I think this is significant to my recovery because the interaction reminded me of my post last week about anger as a map back to ourselves – I was not speaking up for myself and saying what I really needed in this moment. I think noticing when I am doing this is progress, and the next level will be to practice kindly speaking a boundary when I notice that I’m allowing someone else to take me off my focus.

But the other thing is that I have this little agreement with myself to be “interruptible.” I do like these moments when strangers talk to me because so many times, there has been a nugget of wisdom I can take away, or I simply find someone’s life interesting. I like to consciously feel curiosity about someone, especially if I perceive them as quite different from me. This man – Zed – was in his 60s with long gray dreadlocks, and he finished two cups of coffee and three cigarettes while we talked. What I found interesting was that he was reeling his mind on making money without working too hard, which sort of resonates with where I am, too. He was telling me about his finances, his work, his creative sales skills, all mixed in with some frustrations with his ex-wife. (People often overshare with me – I’m not sure why they feel comfortable telling me these things!)

But there was one thing he said to me twice – it seemed he felt that this was the wisdom he had to offer a younger person like me. He said, whatever you do, charge more for your services so your efforts always feel worth the return. My first thought was, yeah, of course, Zed. But because he said it twice, I let it sink in. As I’m working on a shift in my money beliefs, I see how I tend to undervalue the work I do and I want to change that. So maybe Zed was a little messenger from the Universe there to remind me to get paid what I’m worth in my next vocation. I’m grateful for that.

Reading Deprivation Update

Oh, and reading deprivation? That has been extremely hard. I accidentally read my friend’s blog when I got her email. I found myself really struggling with this particularly around online reading. I didn’t pick up any books at least. Did it help me feel more creative? Honestly, it didn’t have that effect on me this time. I felt like I was slogging through this week, not creating more. But hey, I did the thing and now I know that isn’t something that works for me. That’s what experimenting is all about.

Next week, I’ll be working through Week Five: Recovering a Sense of Possibility.

---

Weekly recaps of 100 Liminal Days are emailed on Tuesdays only to my newsletter subscribers. If you want the summaries, share your email at the bottom of this page to get on the list.

You’ll also instantly receive a free Notion template I use every single day to track my habits and reflect on the day.