We are built to care.

We are not built to know everything, all the time.

And in a world that profits from our attention, nervous system care is not self-indulgence. It is the foundation of meaningful impact.

It is my belief that we are all connected to each other – not just relationally and experientially, but also energetically interconnected through ecological systems that shape our human existence in both spirit and form. I believe each of us contribute a unique part to the whole.

We are physically, emotionally, and spiritually capable of feeling the pain or joy of another – particularly of those closest to us. And when I say closest, I mean it in every possible way: those we share proximity with through sight, touch, and sound, those we form emotional or spiritual closeness with, and those we align with in our interests, values, and actions.

This connectedness gives me a deep sense of meaning. It helps me believe that what I do matters for the greater whole. It’s a beautiful concept to acknowledge my role in a larger, interdependent system that thrives when each part fulfills its unique function in the world.

And because we are connected, we can offer a portion of our individual capacity and awareness to others. When I see another in need, I have the opportunity to offer some of my attention, love, and action. When I have an abundance of love, time, energy, or money, I can share it. I can share my awareness and my capacity with a child, or anyone else who may be vulnerable. Extending our willingness to care beyond ourselves is one of the beautiful truths of being alive.

But this is also where it gets complicated: we were never meant to maintain constant awareness and hold capacity for the whole.

The Cost of Holding the Whole

Our individual nervous systems are not designed to stay vigilant to potential danger threatening every other individual or living thing on the planet. Our bodies are designed to protect and house our individual soul – to give us cues or respond to those external events that are relevant to our own survival.

When we extend the realm of our individual nervous system’s purview beyond that of our singular, self-oriented needs, there will always be a cost.

The modern world (social media, news, etc.) bombards us with information – highlighting pain and suffering that may pierce our hearts deeply at times. It has potential to become more than we can bear. Yet, we still glorify this human advancement providing constant, 24/7 access to awareness of the whole.

Yes, it can be a blessing. A need in a distant place can be met by another on the opposite side of the world. A business owner is no longer limited to customers with physical proximity to them. The possibilities to reach more people with our talents, inventions, and services are nearly endless. I can learn qigong from a teacher in another country. I can donate money to help protect Big Bend hundreds of miles away from me. I can receive therapy and coaching from someone in another state.

Our ultra-connectedness is not the problem. What isn’t working is the narrative we’re feeding ourselves that we must care and do something about the atrocities entering our awareness.

A Moment Close to Home

I’m not writing this as a theory. I’m writing it because I’ve felt the cost in my own body just this morning.

It’s with a heavy heart that must reference the horrific news of another senseless mass shooting that happened last night in Austin’s entertainment district, just 2.5 miles from my house. Three souls were lost, and many affected. I received the news at church when our typical prayer of confession was replaced with a prayer of lament for the victims and their families.

As we prayed, tears streamed down my face. I let the pain in. I offered my awareness to this situation, and in that moment, my body did what bodies do: it took the information and turned it into feeling.

I chose to allow the pain of others into myself – not because I must, but because the information was presented to me without warning, and this was my own nervous system reacting to the news.

Perhaps you can relate to this as you scroll through Instagram. It’s natural for us to react to the information coming in through our senses. It’s natural to become angry, heartbroken, and maybe even motivated to take some form of action to combat the evil we see.

But when that becomes daily life, my capacity gets consumed before it can become care in action. If my care is going to become action, I have to protect the part of me that makes action possible.

How I Protect My Capacity

So, this is why I limit the amount of news and social media I allow in: my nervous system’s job is to help me react proportionately to true, immediate threats to my individual safety and survival.

In a very practical way, this starts in the morning. I don’t read the news or look at social media first thing. Instead, I nurture myself before I allow the world in. I journal – to tell myself the truth. I do qigong. I work out.

I try to meet my own nervous system with care before I ask it to hold anything else.

I protect and nurture my nervous system by practicing qigong, journaling, and meditating so that I can bring my best to the greater whole. It is not that I completely ignore the evil happening down the street from me. It’s not that I don’t care about what’s happening just outside of my own “bubble” of existence.

The most impactful way I can change the world is to tend my own garden – to cultivate a healthy nervous system, and to narrow my focus to my own circle of influence. And – importantly – to do all of this without shaming myself for not doing something about every issue that comes into my awareness. I still care about the whole. I’m just learning to choose a smaller set of places where my care can become real action.

A Practice to Try This Week

If you are feeling heavy, hopeless, or overwhelmed, check in with yourself. Give yourself permission to release awareness of some of the whole. You can be much more effective and impactful when you allow your nervous system to carry the appropriate amount of information.

And if you are struggling to find the right balance for you, start with your nervous system.

For one week, try delaying the news and social media until you’ve had a chance to prepare your nervous system. Even ten minutes counts. Try a few pages of journaling. A short qigong flow. A walk. A prayer.

Breathe. Move mindfully. Start your day with something that signals to your nervous system: you are here, you are supported, you belong to yourself first.

Protect your capacity, so your care can become action.

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