A couple of weeks ago, I introduced “soul proprioception,” an analogical term I am using to describe the soul’s ability to sense who we are, what we want, and where we are going. In a four-post series followed by a video qigong tutorial, I offered a qigong-informed framework for restoring our soul proprioception.

Since then, I’ve personally been using this framework which seems to have invited peace and clarity to join me on this journey. This means the framework is working, so I want to continue breaking this down for myself and anyone else reading who is navigating their own transitional territory. This week, my goal is to further distill what I’m experiencing into practical steps we can use to heal our soul proprioception through a mix of qigong flows and inner soul work. Today, we’ll focus on the work of honoring and “releasing” our old identity – what to do first when you enter into that liminal land of in-between.

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100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business by sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

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Who Am I Now?

When we have just closed a chapter of life like exiting a business or ending a serious relationship, our first tendency is to hurry up and redefine who we are. (But let’s take this slower!) This feeling of not having a clear view of who we are and how we are perceived by others can freeze us in our tracks.

I recently chatted with an investment banker who works with business owners to sell their companies, and she shared an all-too-common story about one of her clients who had just closed on a multimillion-dollar deal and exited from his business. Around 10 pm one night, he called her from the guest room of his house weeping. (He was essentially hiding because he didn’t want his wife to overhear the conversation.) He had been playing golf earlier that day, and when he reached to shake the hand of a new acquaintance, he suddenly realized he had no idea how to introduce himself. This moment revealed to him that he had lost his grip on who he was now that he was no longer running his business. Boy, can I relate to this feeling.

I’m not sure what he thought the banker could do about that since the deal was already done, but this story shows just how frightening, ashamed, and desperate we might feel when we leave an old way of existing, thinking, doing. This type of change can really do a number on our emotional states, and without some intentional inner work, this can quickly spiral out for some people.

Release to Recover Energy For The New You

To work through and process these big emotions, it can be helpful to start with a focus on releasing – letting go of our past identity and expectations for ourself, as well as old stagnant energy in the body. Continuing to hold onto these old ways of thinking takes a lot of physical and mental energy. Our mind and body work together, and whether we realize it or not, our body always takes on the weight of our emotions, past traumas, and the energy around us. To move beyond this liminal space and live freely in a new reality, we’re going to need to recover that leaking energy for our journey into new territory.

So, if you are new here in this liminal land, I recommend a mix of some physical movement that mirrors some powerful, parallel inner work to help you release the old and begin creating space for the new you.

Now, I know some of this stuff might be quickly dismissed by some of you who aren’t interested in any of this hippie shit, but if your level of being “fed up with feeling this way” is anywhere close to the level I started out on, you’ll be ready to try anything. Even so, I’ll do my best to make this accessible and easy to test out for yourself with small little private experiments.

Experiment #1: Shake Your Body

Easier to do than anything else I’ll recommend, shaking the body instantly changes how we feel. In qigong (pronounced chee-gong), shaking is used to purge and clear stagnant Qi (life energy) within the body. When I talk about energy in our body, I don’t mean anything woo-woo like moon energy or something from your astrological sign. (I honestly don’t know anything about that sort of thing!) All of our body’s energy comes from natural sources: 70% comes from our food and the other 30% comes from our breath. So, your Qi is your naturally acquired vitality, and we can use movement and breath to move it through our body.

Here’s a video demonstrating how to do it. I recommend doing this for 1-5 minutes each day.

Experiment #2: Write a Thank You Letter to Your Past Self

Now that we’ve begun to clear old energy from our body, let’s turn inward. You don’t have to figure out how to release your old identity today – this process takes more time than you want it to take. Accept that truth first, and then acknowledge the version of you that got you to this present moment. If you are a high achieving type like me, you often focus on the future and don’t spend much time on the look back. You might even minimize your accomplishments. But this step is important for clearing space for who you are becoming.

• Set aside at least an hour in solitude.
• Turn off notifications and close all of those browser tabs.
• Grab a pen and paper or type it – it doesn’t matter how you get this out as long as you write it truthfully.

Close your eyes for a moment and bring an image of yourself into mind. Imagine that version of you who bravely started your last chapter. If you owned a business, imagine the you that didn’t know what the hell they were doing, taking that first step. Maybe it was your first sales call, or the day you deposited your first client payment.

Now let the highlight reel play in your mind – watch yourself go through all the wins. Witness yourself overcoming the insane obstacles that at one point you thought were going to take you out of the game. Notice that old version of you making sacrifices, giving generously, and making all the things happen. This is the you that made your current reality possible.

A note on “current reality”: If your gut reaction to that phrase was, “I didn’t choose this reality and I don’t want to be here,” try to think of the current space you are in now as a blank canvas. Maybe you were laid off or your partner left you unexpectedly. These situations hold a different kind of loss, so just do your best to look back at the old version of you, doing your best with what you had. There will always be something you can be grateful to yourself for. You may not want to be here in this liminal, but something even better can come out of this as you restore your soul proprioception.

Once you’ve pictured yourself going through your last chapter, open your eyes and write the letter to that version of you. Write as much or as little as you feel called to write. The only rules are to tell the truth and offer gratitude.

When you are ready, read the letter back to yourself. Really take it in. Receive the words. Releasing is about honoring our past self before we let them go. Acknowledge that this version of you is worthy of love and gratitude.

You will feel grief. It’s okay. It’s necessary even. When we release our old identity with honor, we can notice and accept that it’s a natural cycle of life and death. Take your time with this. Come back to it again later if you need a break. But once it is done, give yourself permission to move on.

Release, Balance, Release

This isn’t a once and done sort of thing – it’s a starting point. Releasing frees up some energy to begin the work of stabilizing. And releasing has layers, too. Experiment #2 will help you release the old identity, but we’ve still got more work to do. If you feel any shame or regret about your last chapter, there is more we can do to release those feelings. We’ll also talk about ways we can create balance as we continue this inner work. With balance, we can continue further processes for releasing, while adding in more inner work and physical movement to navigate our liminal land more confidently.

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