Today, I am feeling time pressure and some anxiety about getting things done for the holiday festivities planned this weekend. I am hosting my family again on Sunday for our Christmastime gathering and still have presents to wrap, groceries to order, food to prep, and toilets to clean. Today’s post is off track from my usual deeper reflection, but it just needs to be like this today.

100 Liminal Days is an experimental project of embracing my current transitional season after exiting my business by sharing an honest, real-time account of my self-initiation experience in daily posts. Visit Day 1/100 to learn more and sign up to get the weekly recaps delivered to your inbox.

Overcommitted, Forcing Productivity

If I’m being really honest, I am noticing that I’ve overcommitted myself during this holiday time. Back in September when I started this 100 Liminal Days project, I was not thinking much of future Amber who would have far more external commitments than I’m used to having. Because I am so close to finishing 100LD, I am stubbornly pushing myself to keep posting and meet my deadline of 100 posts by 11:59 pm on December 31st. But I really wish I could just pause the writing and focus on the holiday stuff.

To tell the truth, last week, I doubled up on posts one day to keep on track, and today I’m doing it again. Day 88/100 hasn’t been drafted yet as I write this. I have a very simple post in mind to share a piece of art I’m working on, just to keep the days going, but I really wish I didn’t have this on my schedule today. (But look how close I am to 100!)

Yesterday I missed because we were visiting my mom and making the 4-hour drive home from west Texas. By the time we got home at 7 pm, I was exhausted and grumpy. And today, what I really want to do is reduce my commitments down to just holiday prep and moving my body. I haven’t worked out or done qigong. I didn’t write my Pages yesterday, haven’t practiced qigong much this week at all, and I haven’t meditated in several days. Emily and I have not been as aligned as I would like either. I’m feeling the effects of falling back on my practices.

What Do I Need Today?

I think more than anything, I need to take care of my body and spirit. Go for a long walk or a bike ride. Practice qigong for 20-30 minutes. Meditate.

Emily and I have our annual planning meeting tonight – an hours-long annual event where we review our core values, set intentions for the new year, and plan our entire years’ travel plans on the calendar. This is a time I need to feel and be connected to her, so I do believe that taking care of this “off” feeling in me is the most important thing I can do for myself today. The chores will fit in after I take care of this important thing.

So today, I’m calling this good enough for now.

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